I Went to Google Digital Re-Education Camp—and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
How I Learned to Love Dr. Fauci and Big Brother
By Johnny Depth
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must face the consequences of thinking for himself.
For me, that moment arrived in a quiet digital knock at midnight—the “Community Guidelines Violation” email. Innocent enough on the surface. But it was the beginning of my journey through what can only be described as the Google Digital Re-Education Camp™.
You think gulags are bad?
Try being shadow banned so thoroughly your own mom can’t find your content.
Welcome to Camp Compliance
The invitation was simple:
“Attend voluntarily or disappear algorithmically.”
At first, I resisted. I figured I’d survive in the content wilderness, living off grid with other digital outlaws—Russell Brand, RFK Jr., and a few Austrian economists in exile.
But then YouTube dangled the forbidden fruit:
Partner Status. Monetization. Visibility.
All I had to do was confess my sins.
Day 1: Disavowal
First lesson:
“There is no censorship—only community curation.”
We gathered in the Zoom chapel, where a smiling, non-binary instructor with a Google polo welcomed us with soothing TED Talk cadence:
“It’s not about suppressing speech. It’s about protecting feelings. And feelings are facts now.”
We were instructed to chant:
“I will not question The Science™.”
Followed by:
“Misinformation is a hate crime.”
I tried to ask a question but was muted for “tone.”
Day 2: Fauci Worship
This was where things got spiritual.
We were required to memorize select verses from the CDC Scrolls and practice socially distanced genuflection before a hologram of Dr. Anthony Fauci, glowing like a saint bathed in Pfizer light.
A trainer explained:
“Fauci is both man and message. To question him is to question science itself.”
We nodded. Some wept. I faked it, but inside I was breaking.
Day 3: Cognitive Reconstruction
They walked us through every tweet, every podcast, every meme I’d ever posted.
The one where I said lockdowns were a psychological operation?
Flagged.The jab joke?
Double strike.That post about natural immunity being a thing?
Verboten.
I was given a neural “reset worksheet” to rewrite my beliefs using approved talking points.
Old Thought: The media lies constantly.
New Thought: Legacy media is flawed but essential for democracy.
Old Thought: The government doesn’t care about me.
New Thought: Regulation is love.
They called it “de-biasing.” I called it lobotomy with a smile.
Day 4: Monetization Reintegration
On the final day, they handed me a T-shirt:
“I SURVIVED GOOGLE DIGITAL RE-EDUCATION CAMP — AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS T-SHIRT (and monetization privileges).”
I was now eligible for:
Ad revenue on non-offensive content
Occasional exposure in “Up Next” feeds (if sufficiently neutered)
A free copy of “Rules for Moderated Radicals” by Klaus Schwab Jr.
But most importantly, I was told:
“You’re safe to publish—as long as you don't say what you mean.”
Post-Camp Life
So here I am.
Re-educated.
Re-certified.
Re-platformed.
But not reformed.
Because here’s the truth they can’t deplatform:
I never believed any of it.
And neither do they.
They know the truth is dangerous—that’s why they buried it.
They know men like me don’t go quietly—that’s why they silenced us.
But guess what?
I kept my soul. They just gave me back my mic.
So if you see me smiling on YouTube, just know:
It’s not obedience.
It’s strategy.
And if you think for one second I’m not going to use their own tools to burn down their narrative…
You haven’t been paying attention.
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